Two Essential Mindsets For Taking Control Of Your Life
Over the past five years of blogging, I’ve written a lot about mental health. And to be honest, they are some of my least popular articles.
People don’t want advice they aren’t actively looking for. I’ve found people only want to read the answer to specific questions. And it is hard to ask specific questions about general mental health.
In addition, whose advice do you trust when it comes to mental health? What makes me qualified to give advice on this subject? Absolutely nothing; I’m well-read and have tried to implement these strategies myself.
If you talk to any expert on mental health, they will tell you to do cardio exercise regularly, eat healthily, sleep eight hours a night, journal daily, meditate, and focus on being grateful for what you have.
I strongly encourage you to do those things, try to implement them one at a time, and move on to the next one once they become habits. However, in addition to every healthy thing you can think of, mindset matters. Gratitude is a very beneficial mindset, focusing on what you are grateful for and looking for the things you appreciate in your life.
Although in addition to gratitude, I’ve found two other mindsets you can adopt that can significantly improve your general mental health. I’ve sifted through a lot of new-aged Buddhist teachings and self-help mumbo-jumbo and found that these two mindsets are essential in every practice:
#1 Your mind is a tool (just like your hand)
You wouldn’t let your hand slap you across the face throughout the day. So don’t let your mind do it, either. You are the master of your body, you are the master of your mind, and you are not a collection of the thoughts you think.
I know obsessive and negative thoughts can sometimes feel compulsive and overwhelming. But that’s not you; that is a cycle your mind is momentarily stuck in.
Our minds do just a few things: protect us from danger and potential threats and help us find food and sexual partners. And lastly, help us improve in our desired pursuits.
Whether it is Tetris, tennis, math, or making you feel shitty about yourself, if you set your mind to it, it is happy to help you improve. It is why when you are fixated on something, you can’t stop thinking about it, and you visualize it over and over again. You dream about it, talk about it, and research it in your spare time.
The difference between the mind and your hand is that if you leave the mind unattended, it will make trouble. Your hand probably won’t.
Separating your identity from your thoughts is no easy task. People practice meditation for years to achieve this very goal. However, if the next time you have a self-deprecating thought, you think, “hey, this is my mind, and I will not allow myself to be treated this way,” this process becomes much more manageable.
You wouldn’t keep a friend around who keeps telling you how shitty you are, don’t do it to yourself.
#2 You are not a victim
Life does not happen to you. Sure, bad things happen to you, and most things are beyond your control. But bad things are going to happen to everyone, everywhere. For example, everyone will experience the death of their parents, a loved one, or a friend.
Half of the world will get fired from a job or get a divorce. You’ll move, get injured, and your dog will die. These things are terrible, but they are a basic part of life. You can deny it or accept that it is the cost of living.
You cannot choose which bad things happen to you or when, but you can choose how you respond to them. You cannot control or change the people around you. You can only control yourself.
You are responsible for your happiness, success, and life decisions. Sometimes you won’t be happy or successful, and that sucks. Although you can change your life, and you can take actions that result in happiness and success.
If you let your mind drown you in a victim mindset, you may find yourself blaming external stimuli for your current situation. I don’t doubt that those external circumstances influenced your current situation, but giving them power over you is like castrating yourself.
You can take control of your life, and it starts with your mindset.
Remember, your mind is a tool, and you can use it to smash through obstacles or your self-esteem. But, regardless of how you use it, you are not a victim of your mind. You are the master of your mind and body. How you choose to use them determines the course of your life.
